Excuse me, I’ve lost something. It’s an important memory I’ve misplaced. Locating it could mean discovering the basis of all human nature, or being an addict. If you’re drunk, this is the perfect moment to ponder your chosen vice.
I wonder, have you seen the moment in life when I transformed from wine-hater to thinking there’s nothing better in this world than a full-bodied red? I know. You’ve just realised you lost it too.
Maybe we can look together.
Most of us remember our first sip of wine (with the exception of those with parents who used alcohol to induce screaming-baby-sleep-comas). It was disgusting – bitter and vinegary – and made you want to spit (unless you were, as mentioned, an alcoholic baby). And then it all fast fowards through blurry nights and sloppy hangovers. And suddenly, as you put down the glass of wine in your hand, you realise you ADORE wine. That’s more than mere love.
But when did the changeover happen? When was that exact point where a conversation like this should have happened:
“Wow. Oh my gawd! The last glass of wine I had was disgusting. I HATED it. But this. Oh My GOD! This glass is amazing! Wine is amazing. YOU are all so AMAZING. I love you guy(sh)…and I love thish.. thish glassh of wine in my hand.”
More importantly. Why did you keep drinking it when you hated it?
What does this fact of human nature tell us? I hated coffee too. I remember the first time I stole a sip from my mother’s cup. I couldn’t resist the temptation seeing ground beans smelt so damn delicious.
It tasted like dirt. Really dirty, dirt. You know what I’m taking about – we’ve all tasted dirt.
Now I anticipate mornings by the mere thought of coffee.
Hello? What? Did I subject myself to torture by drinking something I hated until I loved it? I must have, because I can find no other explanation for transforming from coffee-hater into don’t-talk-to-me-before-coffee-addict.
And cigarettes. The first cigarette I smoked was the result of a friend who forced me (she was on a teenage mission to start the world smoking due to her profound passion for cigarettes – I kid you not). I took a small puff… and yelled ‘HALLELUJAH’ (inside my head).
As a smoke-induced cough forcibly tried to remove a lung, I was gloriously happy that the disgusting, expensive, and uncool addiction that is smoking will not be added to my list of addictions.
Sure. That didn’t last. Two years later, I was puffing away like those kool kids on Grease. Why…WHEN? Maybe I was forcing down a cigarette with the coffee I hated. Now I have another addiction I have to kick. Sigh.
I took this perplexing problem to the streets for consultation. And by streets, I mean a table full of friends who were smoking and drinking wine at that very moment. It seemed appropriate. They told me not to be so deep.
But we did get philosophical, as you do after three bottles of wine. We decided it was the following:
Step A: taking hated substance awakens a deep-seeded desire we were unaware of, proving our body is perceptible to addictive substances before our brain catches on. You could chuck in chocolate, vodka, gin, or whisky (which I haven’t yet learnt to love, but aspire to be someone who orders whisky, no ice. Aim high, mum says). Don’t get me started about smelly cheeses.
Step B: we force it a few more time due to social pressure (yes, drinking straight from a bourbon bottle at the age of 16 while sitting in a gutter will have its consequences). The deep-seeded desire spasms your hand to grab another glass, even though you choke on it as it slips down your throat. You are a puppet to it.
Step C: The deep-seeded desire we were unaware of travels from somewhere below our stomachs (where else would it live?) and fixates itself in our minds. It drives you for more. You LOVE it. GIVE ME MORE NOW!
Is it that we can’t say no, even to ourselves?
We were strong once. But those years were lost with childhood.
And you thought you were in control.
P.S. If you find my lost memories, please post them with fragile written on the box. Many thanks.